Friday, 9 April 2010

Our House

If there is a big pile of washing up in the corner of the kitchen , please turn a blind eye. We only ever do it we've ran out of plates/cutlery even then we resort to take-away to avoid the washing up.

If you place a mobile down anywhere in my house dont expect it to be if there when you go back to it. If the child has not chewed it/placed it in his toy-box then the Man of the house will have it & will most likely be txting your boss telling him how much you like anal.

If you go to sit on the sofa and find it's dirty with tiny hand shape yogurt marks then please turn it over , if then the other side is dirty - please shout for assistance who will come & cover it with a blanket until she can be bothered to wash the covers.

If the child has a dirty nose/face. So be it. Unless you want to deal with his screams & cries as you try to wipe - have a go! But to be honest it's none of your business.

There will be numerous wires trailing around the house , this is due to the Man of the house and his poor DIY skills. Please dont sue if you trip & fall.

Cant see the TV? No your not going blind , It's most likely covered in porridge/weetabix and will must likely be cleaned when the Woman of the house finds it annoying.

BUT you will be greeted warmly , maybe even with a hug!
And I will get the kettle on for you/hand you a glass of wine (depending on what time of the day it is!) and I will entertain you as best as I can!