Thursday, 9 September 2010

Controlled Crying

I'm not a fan of controlled crying , I've never tried it and I never want to. I have nothing against people who use this method. I even don't have anything against my neighbour who I assume does controlled crying which means I have not slept at all for the last few nights due to the sound of her little boy's constant cries.

I personally cannot leave Oli to cry longer then a few minutes , as a parent you can tell the difference between cries. When we tell him off he cries and as much as it hurts me to see him crying I leave it be , he usually stops after a minute of so and carries on. Other times are different like when it comes to the middle of the night and he wakes up , I cannot lie there in bed and let him cry it out. I have to go and see what's happening , see to his needs. See I think babies have a reason for crying , they need something.

Of course a baby will stop crying after a while , sheer exhaustion and knowing they're not going to get that help will stop them. I know a certain book by a certain baby author advises it controlled crying as a method and advises it to be used with baby as soon as possible. But is that the way to get a baby to sleep? Leaving it to cry its little lungs out? Sheer exhaustion?

Oli still has comforts in the middle of the night if he wakes, this is usually in the form of either a bottle , a hug or a story. Knowing he's been comforted leaves me comforted and happy. I would rather do this for a lifetime then leave him feeling un-comforted and wondering where Mummy is when he needs her. I know this may be developing a habit (thought I would mention it before somebody else does) but if you were to hear him cry and then see the relief on his face when he gets what he needs. You probably think I'm a fool but this is what makes both me & baby happy at the end of the day and isn't that what its all about? I would just rather be knackered for a few years and let him learn to enjoy a good nights sleep at his own pace.

No matter what the books/'experts' say I will be straight by his side when he cries , seeing to his needs. Like I said at the beginning I have no issue with people doing this method and maybe it's worked perfectly for you but it's one method that I know isn't for me or Oli. Maybe because I'm in a position where I don't have a job to go to in the day and I only have one child , maybe this might have a effect on my views of it. They say it's better for them in long run but is it really?

Are you for/against controlled crying? Did it work for you?