Sunday, 12 September 2010

A day in the life of a home alone Mummy!

I am the lucky Mum of a fab 4yr old fella (Kieran) and am 27weeks pregnant with little fella 2! I thoroughly enjoyed the summer holidays with Kieran but was ever mindful of the fact that from 2nd Sept, he would be at “Big School”. He went off ever so well, not a backwards glance to his poor Mum, (traitor!) and I was very brave and didn’t cry (felt the lump form and jumped on the nearest Mum I didn’t know quite well enough to want to cry in front of, and walked home with her!).

Don’t get me wrong – I’m thrilled he is at school now, he was very ready for it, and it’s a huge adventure. He is learning new things everyday and after only five days in, he seems so much more savvy and grown up (I have to say he could do with losing some of the savvy attitude ie “Mummy can I have a Nintendo DS like X has” um no you are 4yrs old, play in the fresh air, or “Mummy will you poo baby out of your bottom and will it be all covered in brown? X says you will”. Just wait until I see X’s Mummy lol).

All sounds good so far doesn’t it? Kieran is settled, doing really well so far, but um... what about me? I seem to be dropping off some of my identity at the classroom door each morning and not regaining it until 3.30pm. It’s very strange! I work from home fulltime, so have always been at home with Kieran. Preschool didn’t seem to count because he only went for 2.5hr sessions each day. It’s all very odd. I know I have baby 2 on the way but for the meantime I seem to be in Limboland. I’m still a Mummy even when I have no kids at home during the day right? I’m not sure when I started needing home more than he started needing me and I’m not a clingy Mum and keep these feelings to myself, but it’s so strange!

I’m keeping myself very busy, or as busy as I can anyway (I lost my internet this week – the horror!), have lots of work to do, housework to do, nursery sorting to do, but despite how busy I am I’m still feeling a bit lost, like I’m grieving a little. Yesterday, we did his homework when he got in (yes I did say homework), then I said “Why don’t we quickly make some cookies while tea is on and we can surprise Daddy when he gets in!?”. My baking mad boy replied with “No thank you Mummy, I’m a bit tired now and did some cooking at school, can I watch TV until tea?”. Humph!

I’m sure this is just a temporary period, and don’t get me wrong I don’t have any particular issue with having 6hrs+ uninterrupted for 5 days a week, but wow – much harder to adjust than I expected.

Is it just me being a hormonal wimp or is this part of the transition we all have to go through when our kids start to grow up?

Nicki Cawood